The best way to write a sympathy card is to be genuine and simply say what you feel

Things to Avoid in a Condolence Letter

Posted: May 14th, 2011 | Author: writer | Filed under: Articles and guides | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | No Comments »

The death of a person makes it very hard to find the right words to express your sympathy. In this regard, writing a condolence letter should be done with care since saying the wrong things could upset, offend or confuse the grieving person. The last thing you need after a friend or colleague lost a loved one is to add injury or insult to the bereaved. There are words and phrases that should be avoided when writing a condolence letter.

Most of the time, when people write these messages or phrases, the meaning is not what they meant and failed to see it from the view of the bereaved. Moreover, they have no idea on how the message may be interpreted. One of the things you should avoid when writing a condolence letter is to say: ‘I know how you feel’. No one knows the extent of the feelings of sorrow and pain of a grieving person. Even if you have experienced this loss before, the feeling differs depending on the individual who is experiencing it.

Another thing you have to avoid saying is: ‘I know something good will come of this’. Nobody can predict the future and it is extremely hard to figure out that everything will turn out for the best or the death could positively affect the bereaved. While this could be a way of encouraging the bereaved, the message may convey that something good is coming in exchange for the loss, which is very difficult and sometimes unimaginable for the person in grief to accept.

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